Femme Fatale

Okay. I’m officially turning a year older in 6 days, and yet, here I am, still telling everyone around me that I’m ONLY 25, still very much in my mid-twenties (liar, liar, pants on fire!) and that I still do what all 25 year olds do.

Isn’t age JUST a number after all?

I can still remember my 21st year old birthday party like as if it happened only yesterday. And I can remember every single detail of the party (thanks to photographs as well lah). And presents! I can still tell you who gave me what and how many people shared for something and more. Like I said, it happened only yesterday or so it seems.

Hell, a perfect conversation TODAY can go like this:

Friend: Somebody’s birthday is coming….

Me: Shut up

Friend: There’s nothing wrong with getting a year older, you know

Me: So why dont you go celebrate on my behalf

Friend: What do you have in mind?

Me: Hmmm…..dunno. Probably throw a party - again. Like last year, I did it at a pub near my place. HammerHead Pub. Booked the entire place…erm….wait….sorry….that was actually two years ago. Yeah, so anyways, there was a pool table and a proffessional DJ and free flow of….actually arr….not two years lah, more like four years back actually. Wait….three or four arr….(count fingers)….fuck, it was five fucking years ago

Time just fucking fly, man. And before I know it, I’m gonna be hitting the BIG 3-0! Of course, I’m not even gonna go there yet. For someone who is not even willing to admit that she’s hitting the late-twenties, talking or even thinking about the thirties is a HUGE NO-NO! Very sensitive, you know….

But I know at one point or another, I would have to be facing this age factor soon….and unfortunately, it’s gonna have to be happening very soon. In fact, I think it’s already beginning to happen.

It hit me on Saturday night. Like a huge slap right across the face. And I’m still sulking from the after-effects of that slap. It was like a pail of icy cold water just falling on me, drenching me in nothing but freezing-off-my-ass ice cold water….and….it WAS literally cold.

It was Destination Space: The Voyage Continues Chivas rave up in Gentings. I was practically preparing myself for it for one whole week because I was sooooo excited! I mean, the last rave I went for was Tiesto, Sepang, and that was like what….3 months ago? So obviously another rave got me all worked up and flushing. Adding to that, it was the first rave that the boyfriend was actually going with me, so naturally, I was all high and excited to show off to the virgin-raver what an experienced raver his girlfriend was.

Anyways, we got there at about 10pm. Crowd was just nice, not too packed, not too little people either. Music was pumping good. Booze were flowing. Weather was cool. Staff were decked out in amazing, bright orange space outfits. Everything was just great!

And naturally, being the clubber-raver-chick that I was born to be, my feet started moving to the beat of the music and very soon, I was practically dancing where I was standing. The boyfriend looked a little bored but then again, he had his drunkard friend and the bottle of Chivas to accompany him, so I knew he wouldn’t die - yet. JamieLing was bursting with energy and waiting for me to roar with her on the dancefloor. And that’s what we did.

We hit the podiums at 10.45pm. By 11.30pm, I was having difficulty breathing and I could feel my energy just feeping out from me. And that was when I felt it. The hard, cold, stinging slap, right across my cheeks.

I’M AGING!!!!

Two years back…hell no….one year back even, I was known as the energizer bunny because I never ran out of energy or stamina. I was always on my feet, dancing the night away, never even having to stop for a breather or to take a sip of water.

ZoukOut Genting - I was there from beginning to end.

Heineken Rave, Sepang - I was there from beginning to end.

ZoukOut Revelation, PD - I was there from beginning to end.

Chivas Rave - I was there for ONLY 45 minutes, and I started feeling tired!

How could that have happened? After all, age is just a number, isn’t it? So why is it that as I’m getting older, I’m also getting weaker. It’s not like as if I’m 50. I’m ONLY 25! Okay fine….26 in 6 days.

And then I realized, my heart doesn’t skip a beat anymore when someone mentions ‘Mumbo Jumbo’ like how it used to. I don’t plan to go clubbing anymore because I just don’t feel the rush of excitement for it as I used to. There’s no more girly excitement to dress up and make up for the night outs. There are no more urges to go buy more clubbing clothes. There’s no more curiosity to find out what’s hot and happening in the night scenes anymore.

Instead, I feel more excitement when the boyfriend says, "Let’s go catch a movie", or when the girls meet up for a session of pure bitching and gossiping. I would even choose to curl up in bed with a good book rather than go out there to party.

No no no….don’t get me wrong. I’m not saying that I’m turning into a boring, lifeless, dull girl. I still enjoy myself tremendously when I go clubbing with the girls, or when I go for beers with the guys, or even at parties thrown by friends and people I enjoy being with. I just don’t find the joy to go clubbing for the sake of clubbing anymore, that’s all.

I don’t really know if this is a sad thing or a good thing. I mean, there are the pros and cons to being both, but that I will probably list down in my next blog. I guess it’s just a phase that everyone has to go through, and I’m coming to the next chapter in life.

So, anyways, to all my dear friends and family, please remember that there will ONLY be 18 candles of my birthday cake from now onwards….

I finally solved the mystery of "The Smell"!

There was a terrible, pungent odour that was hanging around in the upstairs bathroom for the pass one week and I just couldn’t figure out what it was - or where it came from!

I searched every corner of the bathroom but nothing. Even put my head into the bog just to see if the smell was coming from there but even the freaking bog smelt good at that time!

I just didn’t understand! I mean, the bathroom was only this big, and it was obvious the damn smell was coming from in there cos you could only smell it when you stepped into it. So it was really weird that I couldn’t figure out where it was coming from.

So, I thought maybe it was coming from the bin cos second sister was having her friend visit her at that time so the bin was full off used friendship thingys but when I opened it up, it was empty! Ha! Imagine the HORROR of not being able to solve "The Smell"!!!!

Someone must have smelt it too and must have drawn the same conclusion as me (smell coming from bin) and emptied it….but nope, apparently, the smell wasn’t coming from there cos the bin was empty but the smell was still there! 

After a while, I decided to give up on the search for the source of "The Smell" and just started praying and hoping that it will miraculously disappear one fine day.

So, one fine day, as I was sitting at the dining table munching on some cashew nuts, and chatting with the second sister about nothing, mummy walks down the stairs.

"Jodie Ho! Can you please take that shell of yours out of the bathroom! It’s stinking up the whole place!!!!"

And that, my dear friends, was the cause of "The Smell".

And I can’t believe that I never suspected it to be coming from that insignificant thing that the second sister was keeping, soaked in a cup of Dettol, in the upstairs bathroom. 

The boyfriend called about 2 minutes ago.

"Honey, wanna meet up for a quick lunch?"

"Sure!"

"Alright, will be there in 15 minutes".

His office is in Sri Kembangan, mine in Kelana Jaya. He had a meeting at Glenmarie and it just ended. I have a meeting to attend in Dataran Prima at 2pm. It’s 12.25pm now.

Why would we still wanna have lunch together when we know it’s gonna be a rushed one? We still need to decide where to eat and look for parking, which leaves us with even less time for lunch. But we still want to do it anyhow. Why?

Because we WANT to.

Because we know that despite the limited time we had to see each another and enjoy our lunch at the same time, the meet-up would be a good break for both of us from our busy schedule. It will make us happier to be able to enjoy each another’s company (even if its only for a short while), and it helps to make the second half of the day go by much easier.

It’s these little things that keep our relationship alive and going. You know, just sipping coffee / tea (or alcohol in our case) on the beach watching the sun go down, having heart-to-heart conversations in bed in the wee hours of the morning, taking long walks around the neighbourhood (while the dogs bark their sorry asses off), going off on impulsive trips, getting happily pissed drunk together and laughing so hard when the other party does something so totally crazy (like failing miserably to jump across a fountain), or even just having drinks at the nearby mamak, watching other people misbehave.

Expensive presents doesn’t matter. But a good conversation does.

That leather jacket in TopShop doesn’t feel as good as having his arms wrapped around you to keep you warm.

It’s good to show off that Carolina Herera, Chic he bought for you but it’s nothing compared to feeling that WONDERFUL feeling when he inhales in the scent of your hair and lets go a satisfied sigh…

I always get asked, "How can you be so in love with someone?" - especially when that someone drives me up the wall more often than not….and my answer is always the same, "Because I WANT things to work out".

Going through my emails today, I found this very interesting dialogue between Noah and his wife and it is exactly how i feel.

Noah: Would you just stay with me?
Allie: Stay with you? What for? Look at us, we are already fighting.
Noah: Well that’s what we do. We fight. You tell me when I’m being an arrogant son of a bitch and I tell you when you are being a pain in the ass. Which you are 99% of the time. I’m not afraid to hurt your feelings. You have like a two second rebound rate and you’re back to doing the next pain in the ass thing.
Allie: So what.
Noah: So it’s not going to be easy. It’s going to be really hard. And we’re going to have to work at this every day. But I want to do that because I want you. I want all of you, forever, every day.

"The best love is the kind that awakens the soul and makes us reach for more, that plants a fire in our hearts and brings peace to our minds. And that’s what you’ve given me. That’s what I’d hope to give to you forever."

There is no such thing as the RIGHT man / woman for anyone because nobody’s perfect. Everyone has a flaw, some maybe more than others, but one way or another, there is bad and good in everyone. It’s how you learn to accept these flaws and make them into something beautiful. It’s how you learn to live with these imperfections and turn them to your advantage for a stronger, better relationship. It’s about how much you WANT to work things out and how far you are willing to go to MAKE sure that it does work out.

As long as both parties are willing to put in an effort to make things work, you can overcome whatever obstacles that comes your way. Be it that mother who doesn’t want to bless your marriage, or that guy who is not willing to let go of his current girlfriend for you eventhough he has confessed his endless love to you endlessly, or even that ‘Ex’ who has suddenly popped into the picture, you WILL pull through.

And this is EXACTLY what I want for mine.